The First Semester of College: How Parents Can Help Their Student Thrive (Without Hovering)
The first semester of college is exciting but it’s also one of the biggest emotional transitions a young adult will ever experience.
One day your student is living at home, surrounded by familiar routines and lifelong friends. The next, they’re unpacking a dorm room, navigating a new campus, meeting strangers, managing their own schedule, and trying to figure out who they are without the safety net they’ve always known.
On this episode of Ol’ College Try, College Aid Pro’s Peg Keough sits down with college transition coach Suzanne Hanna to discuss what really happens during those first few months of college. From homesickness and making friends to developing study habits and managing independence, they share practical advice every family should hear before move-in day.
The Summer Before College Is Often Harder Than Parents Expect
Graduation is over.
The celebrations have ended.
Now comes the waiting.
According to Suzanne, many students spend the summer before college quietly questioning whether they made the right decision. They wonder if they picked the right school, whether they’ll fit in, and if they’ll actually make friends. Even students who were confident during the admissions process often begin second-guessing themselves once reality sets in.
One of the biggest fears she hears?
“What if I don’t make friends?”
Ironically, this concern often comes from students who had thriving social lives in high school.
The uncertainty, not a lack of social skills, is what creates the anxiety.
Why Orientation Can Make Students Feel More Anxious
College orientation is meant to ease nerves, but social media has changed the experience.
Students often scroll through Instagram or TikTok and see classmates posting pictures with captions like “Found my college besties!” long before move-in day.
To someone watching from home, it can feel like everyone else has already figured college out.
In reality, many of those groups are simply students who attended the same high school or happened to meet during orientation. Most friendships haven’t actually formed yet. They’re simply snapshots of a much larger freshman class that hasn’t fully come together.
Parents can help by reminding students that orientation is only the beginning not the finish line for finding their people.
Feeling Uncomfortable Is Part of the Process
One of Suzanne’s biggest messages throughout the conversation is simple:
Learn to become comfortable being uncomfortable.
The first weeks of college overload nearly every part of a student’s routine.
The food is different.
The bed feels unfamiliar.
There are new sounds, smells, schedules, classmates, professors, and expectations.
It’s normal for students to feel emotionally exhausted because their brains are processing constant change.
That discomfort isn’t a sign they’re failing.
It’s evidence they’re growing.
Start Practicing Independence Before Move-In Day
Confidence doesn’t magically appear when students arrive on campus.
It develops through practice.
Suzanne encourages families to use the summer before college as a chance to build independence in small but meaningful ways.
Instead of having parents make every phone call, students should begin scheduling their own doctor’s appointments, calling pharmacies, making reservations, and handling simple conversations with adults. Every uncomfortable interaction becomes another opportunity to build confidence before college begins.
The goal isn’t perfection.
It’s learning that discomfort is temporary.
Homesickness Isn’t Something to Be Ashamed Of
Every family worries about homesickness.
Suzanne reframes it beautifully:
Homesickness is love.
Missing home simply means home mattered.
It means students are grieving the end of one chapter while beginning another and that’s completely normal.
Homesickness also creates an unexpected opportunity.
When students admit they miss home, they often discover everyone else feels exactly the same way.
Those honest conversations become the foundation for genuine friendships because vulnerability creates connection.
Want to Make Friends? Stop Waiting for Them to Find You.
One of Suzanne’s most practical pieces of advice happens before classes even begin.
Don’t stay in your dorm room.
Help someone move in.
Carry a box.
Introduce yourself to a neighbor.
Ask someone if they’d like to grab coffee or lunch.
Small acts of kindness naturally create conversations, and conversations become friendships.
The students who make connections earliest aren’t always the most outgoing.
They’re often the ones willing to take the first small step.
College Requires a Completely Different Way of Learning
For many freshmen, the biggest academic surprise isn’t that classes are harder.
It’s that learning works differently.
In high school, teachers naturally reinforce concepts over and over through homework, quizzes, discussions, and reminders.
College professors don’t.
They expect students to read before class, attend lectures prepared, and continue reviewing material independently afterward.
Suzanne explains that students need multiple exposures to new information before it truly sticks. Waiting until the night before an exam forces the brain to relearn everything instead of reinforcing it gradually.
Her recommendation is simple:
After every class, spend 15–30 minutes reviewing notes somewhere other than your dorm room. Correct mistakes while the lecture is still fresh, organize your thoughts, and identify questions for office hours.
Those small daily review sessions often make cramming unnecessary later.
Don’t Go Back to Your Dorm Room
This advice may sound oddly specific, but Suzanne says it’s one of the biggest habits that separates successful students.
After class, avoid immediately returning to your room.
Instead, find a library, coffee shop, student center, or another comfortable “third space” where you can review notes before distractions take over.
Dorm rooms quickly become places for scrolling, snacking, chatting with roommates, or taking unintended naps.
Studying somewhere else helps students stay focused while establishing healthy routines.
Your Cell Phone Can Become Your Biggest Obstacle
Technology keeps students connected with family but it can also prevent them from connecting with campus.
Suzanne warns that phones create two major problems during the college transition.
First, they encourage isolation. It’s easy to retreat into a dorm room and spend hours scrolling instead of meeting people.
Second, social media fuels comparison. Students begin believing everyone else has already found friends, joined organizations, and figured college out while they’re struggling.
Most of the time, that perception simply isn’t true.
Being intentional about screen time during those first weeks can make a tremendous difference.
Parents Should Expect Some Academic Adjustment
Even students who earned straight A’s in high school may struggle early in college.
That doesn’t mean they suddenly aren’t capable.
It often means they’re learning an entirely new system.
Peg encourages parents to normalize this adjustment instead of panicking after the first disappointing grade. Rather than focusing on perfection, she reminds families to encourage effort, resilience, and asking for help when it’s needed. Office hours, teaching assistants, tutoring centers, and professors all exist to support students but students have to take the initiative to use them.
College isn’t about never making mistakes.
It’s about learning how to recover from them.
The Bottom Line
The first semester of college isn’t just an academic transition.
It’s an emotional one.
Students are learning how to build friendships, manage uncertainty, create routines, advocate for themselves, and become independent adults all at the same time.
Parents can’t eliminate those challenges.
But they can prepare students to meet them with confidence.
As Suzanne reminds families throughout the episode, success doesn’t come from avoiding discomfort.
It comes from learning to move through it.
And that’s a lesson students will carry long after freshman year ends.
